did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
