I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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