Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
this hospital has no fireball
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
