Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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