all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
