I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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