East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
