As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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