He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
