you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
