Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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