she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
