The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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