so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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