The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
