This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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