you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
