how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
