Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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