She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
