Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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