oh god the rape fog is back!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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