We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
