I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
