this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
