So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
