I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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