i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
