You're my little dorito
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
