That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
