your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
