I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
