ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
