don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
