I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
