..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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