The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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