I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
