I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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