Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
