toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
