could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
