Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
