how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
