There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
