don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
