I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So here I am, sexting at work.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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