It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
