I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's shark week go big or go home
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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