brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
