I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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