he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
