Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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