youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
