tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She tied me up with her honor cords...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
