I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize