Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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