Moan for me like Helen Keller
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
