So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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