Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
