Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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