I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize