who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
