I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
