Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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