Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
